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I posted this on my blog this week and Janitt suggested I post it here. It got a very positive response from the Clinton camp.
So Where Do I Stand Anyway?
A few people have written wondering what's happened to me politically.
I thought that this were pretty clear on my blog but for clarity's sake I will explain it all here.
In January 2008 after initially supporting Hillary Clinton for President, I started checking out the Obama website and pro-Obama news blogs like The Huffington Post and The Daily Kos. After having initially dismissed Obama as a light weight (and I should have trusted my gut), I became impressed with some of the Utopian concepts being espoused by Obama and his online surrogates. That we needed to move to the next level of equality, that identity politics were obsolete and immature, that we must check our egos (or as they would call it our "narcissism") at the door and be part of a movement of equals for the greater good. Again this is a Utopian leftist ideal and I found it all very appealing.
Unfortunately it is also classic cult indoctrination- surrender yourself, your individuality, your own needs to a larger organization lead by a kind and charismatic leader who will look out for you.
Yes, I have come to realize that this is the first charismatic cult presidential election in history.
I was vulnerable this winter. I was broke and alone. I was working on an endless project and I was listening to pro-Obama radio everyday on the internet while I typed hour after hour.
In other words I was emotionally vulnerable and open to manipulation as I think millions are here in America. We want to be saved.
The Obama followers painted him as the ultimate progressive but his style is pure preacher. He can not think on his feet as his poor performances in the debates showed. He excells at delivering prewritten material in a fire and brimstone fashion complete with a plea to send in your cards and letters. This evangelical approach is what has made Obama so popular in the South and with African Americans. Listening to Obama is like going to church and for his followers, it is a new religion. And like most fundementalists they do not want ANYONE to question them.
Being an Obama follower is very much like being in an all-encompassing faith. You are told to have "hope" everyday- hope in Barack Obama and his belief in "you". You feel guilty if you haven't done enough to help him. You distrust people who don't think like you to the point where you demonize them with any number of accusations- the first usually racism. You can not understand Clinton supporters- they make no sense to you and they are killing your buzz. Why can't everyone just think like you and the group do? You think they are fools.
But of course the greatest enemy- the reason you must do whatever the Obama people tell you to do is the ultimate evil- the Republican party.
Obama followers are psychotically frightened of the Republican party to the point that they will do anything to destroy them. They will also do anything to destroy anyone or anything (like say Ralph Nader) who they think may stop them from destroying evil.
Yes the Obama followers believe in evil and they believe in absolutes.
This desperation to overthrow the Republicans at any cost is pverblown to a bizarre extreme.
And it's all because of Utopia- the utopian visions Barack Obama instills in his flock.
If you believe the world can become a utopia and you know how, suddenly everyone who you perceive as a roadblock to your goal becomes expendable at best- a victim of genocide at worst.
The truth is sadly there is no utopia- there will always be strife and greed and sexism and racism. We can fight it but, to think we can eliminate it is dangerous and I'm afraid the Obama people think "yes we can" on this score.
I continued in my cloud for months- all through the primaries. "Why were those women so angry at the DNC?" I wondered but not too seriously. After all they were probably narcissists, racist and incapable of understanding where we were and where Barack would take us.
I honestly thought all those people screaming were just crazy- it never dawned on me that they had a different point of view. This terrifies me. To find myself in that head space.
Eventually everything fell apart Saturday.
Barack Obama said that while he would try to fight "immunity" in the FISA bill he would end up voting yes on it.
This meant Obama was supporting one of the most Draconian pieces of legislation ever pushed by Bush.
Barack Obama wants to be able to enter your home with no just cause- he wants to listen in on your private phone calls and read all your emails. He wants to monitor who you call and where they are. For the first time he will be able to wiretap international calls spreading the new American fasciam around the globe.
But how could our savior do this?
Was he just another politician after all? An extremely charismatic and effective speaker who along with the DNC had developed an effective presentation designed to get the majority in the Democrats pockets?
I was hurt and stunned.
I started thinking about things that Obama had been doing that had nagged me on some level. Like moving the DNC to Chicago under his control (when he isn't even yet the official nominee) despite that city's history of political corruption.
I thought of how he backed out on public financing when campaign finance reform had been such a key issue for the left for decades.
Worst of all, I looked around and saw an angry mob defending Obama over FISA- people who only one day before were rabid that any Democrat would vote for this bill (after all the Republicans want it!) were now excusing Obama and saying warrentless wiretapping wasn't really that big a deal or they were saying they would "protest" and make sure Obama would fight the immunity provision when he'd already said that was the only part of the bill he WOULD fight. Where else is Obama capable of taking his army?
They had gone mad. The Democrats are mad.
I started reading the other side. I am amazed by the writings of the Clinton supporters- so brilliant. I will be studying their points of view over what happened this year for the rest of my life because it is so fascinating how I was programed to turn on people I had loved and respected all my life.
I started reading Ralph Nader. Thank God for Ralph!
I even took a cue from Stephen Marshall who says that demonizing your opponant is dangerous and went to John McCain's website. I was amazed to see how similar his views were to Obama's- especially on energy and we have no guarantee that Obama will stick with any of the issues that seperate him from McCain- like ending the war or that McCain might not end it sooner than Obama. It's all conjecture and fear mongering.
McCain may not be my candidate but he is hardly evil incarnate and there is no reason why I must turn over MY reason to Barack Obama because of John McCain.
So here is where I am now:
I am not going to jump on any political band wagons for awhile- if ever again. I will focus on fairness of process instead. I feel traumatized by my experience and angry but I also feel good- like I'm more myself again or at least getting there.
I have two political goals.
The first is to help the supporters of Hillary Clinton ensure that her name is on the ballot at the convention in Denver, that her supporters speak freely and that there be the traditional delegate vote of states- the Dems under the leadership of Howard Dean want to do away with these trappings of Democracy and turn the convention into a Leni Riefenstahl by way of Megachurch personality cult extravanganza featuring nothing but Obama zombies asking you for money.
This will not stand. I support the Clinton followers in their fight.
The second political goal I have now is to get Ralph Nader on the ballot in all 50 states. This experience proves to me that we NEED multiple parties- if only to keep an eye on each other. I defend and support Mr. Nader's right to run.
As for who I vote for it will probably be either Clinton, Nader or McCain.
I haven't made up my mind and may not until election day.
It's just a vote for President- it's not the end of the world or anything.
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SO WHERE DO I STAND ANYWAY?
